Depression Struck Me!

Its been three full months since I posted here.

And what happened yesterday night is really something I need to pour out.

"Putcha, na depress ako ng sobrang sobra kagabi. Yung tipong sa kakaisip mo, hindi ka na na makapag isip. Blankong blankong na yung utak mo. Naghahanap ka ng solusyon sa isang problemang paulit ulit na nangyayari sayo..hanggang ngayon hindi ka pa rin matuto? Paulit ulit ulit na nangyayari sayo..iniisip mo na hindi mo na yung mababago buong buhay. Iniyak ko na lahat kagabi pero yung sakit at sugat na nakatanim sa puso mo, hindi mo pa rin mailabas.

Ang bigat. "

I thought of desperate ways to answer the problem but these solutions will further break me down.

I felt lonely. desperate. helpless. broken.

"Kahit andyan yung pamilya ko para hingian ko ng tulong hindi ko pa din sila malapitan dahil ako lang naman ang makakapagpabago sa sarili ko."

" Nahiga ako sa kama. Pumikit. Nakatulog. Nanaginip. Nagising. "

Ramdam ko pa rin yung sakit.

Another One of Those Nights

Its been a while since I played a computer game after I graduated from college.

So I decided to catch up on the gaming world. So I decided to play Ragnarok Online at a cybercafe near our place. Knowing that my load for the game expired already, I looked for a store where I can buy a prepaid card..but didn't find any ( I was looking for the 20 pesos - 2 hour card ).

Loading now was done electronically.

- Nagmukha pa akong tanga nung sinabi sa akin nung kahera na " Sir, e-load na po tayo ngayon".-

Another one. Anyways, they sent the PIN codes to my cellphone input it to the Ragnarok Top Up site..

Pareho lang pala.

So there, I stayed for two hours playing.


Then I remembered back in my college days that I play this game every time I feel alone or when I'm heartbroken. Or when I feel bad.

I'm just there in a cyber cafe, playing a game, not minding any one and not minded by anyone ; not caring anyone and not cared by anyone.

Will history repeat itself? I thought. I don't want to be uncared and ignored.

I don't want to end up alone.

I don't want to spend my life living on the idea that I can do everything by myself.

Series Mania

Define chilling out.



For me, its pigging out on dried mangoes, cheese popcorn, or any unhealthy food while watching my favorite TV series on television.

And I would like to recommend the following titles:





Kyle XY




I was hesitant at first because this show doesn't seem that big a hit in the Philippines, but a friend recommended it, so I obliged. And after watching the first episode, man, I'm so hooked!

The story revolves on Kyle, a 16 year old teenager with an advanced brain capabilities and has super –human strength and stamina( and he has no belly button). He was found at the woods of Seattle, covered in liquid gel, bare and has no memory of his past. He was adopted by the Tragars and considered him as part of the family. The plot basically involves Kyle and his journey on uncovering his past.


Genre: Drama/ Family values
Age Range: 13 - 17 ( tweens and teenagers)
Comments: Something for the whole family to enjoy





House M.D.




I think this is one of the best TV series I've ever watched!

Gregory House is the genius, but satiric diagnostics head of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey heading a group of young doctors; Dr. Eric Foreman, Dr. Robert Chase and Dr. Allison Cameron. His everyday adventures with his best friend, Dr. James Wilson and the hospital administration Dr. Lisa Cuddy, makes the story more interesting.

Genre: Drama/ Comedy
Age Range: 18 onwards
Comments: Smart! Brilliant!


I've been getting out of the office earlier than usual just to watch 2 or 3 episodes of these series and it was well worth it!

I actually learn few lessons after each episode that I can apply to my everyday life, so its not that bad.

Happy Watching!

I live but in fact I do not.
I see but I'm blinded.
I hear but I cannot listen.
I talk and speak but do not say.

I think but I do not understand.
I search but I do not find.
Emotions are but are not true.

Help me see
Clearer things
To find
What is missing

Inside me
To fill the emptiness
my heart is yearning

To find peace. To find solace.
To find a friend.

To be free.

What is Lost is Lost!

S***!

I lost my cellular phone! Its a Motorola SLVR 7 in black.

I was about to celebrate our anniversary this week ( bought it December 2006), but it seems that we cannot spend our time together. *sniffs*

I was returning home from work when I passed by a supermarket ( the last time I saw my phone) near our village and walked to the tricycle stand and went home. I arrived home and greeted my family and went to bed. I didn't really know what happened but when I woke up the next morning, I can't find it!

There are only two possible things that went down. "Nadukutan ako kagabi" or I carelessly let it fall somewhere yesterday night.

It was lost! Oh well...

I learned two things.

First, check your things every now and then. I think it was one moment I didn't bother to check my things and it was gone. So much for procrastination and ignorance.

Two, learning how to let go lost things. No matter how much effort to find something that is impossible to be recovered, you must let it go. ~ You can start anew right?


Hmmm...starting the New Year without a cellular phone. That's something new!

Single Song Lines

1. ".. and the hardest part is letting go not taking part.." - The Hardest Part by Coldplay

2. ".. I may have cried a million tears, I won't drown.." - Invincible by Christian Bautista

3. " ..rebound mo lang pala ako.." - Rebound by Silent Sanctuary

4. " You're way too beautiful girl that's why it will never work.." - Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston

5. " So baby I will wait for you.." - Wait For You by Elliot Yamin

That's the first part.. more to come.. * starts to whine*

Princess and the Pea the Musical

After months and months of singing, acting and dancing, we had our show last December 14, 2007 at Breadcom Theater in Shangri La Plaza.

It was sooooo unforgettable! I had a time of my life. The show was a success as all the people enjoyed the night. The feedback was nice because this is the first workshop I attended and the audience expected something very amatuer but it turned out better than they expected!

Its because my classmates are all good and talented!

I was sad when the show ended because that's the last time I'll sing, act and dance with them..

I miss them already!! *sniffs*