Saturday, August 9, 2008

I feel f***ed up

Ewan ko ba! Hindi ko pa matalo ang sarili ko. I feel like I 'm gonna burst inside; that something repressed is still hidden inside me. I cannot show them what I really feel inside, I cannot tell them what I think. Everything that I had to say is superficial. Parang naka-depensa ako palagi. I tried showing them my true colors pero parang nandoon nalang sa loob ko, hindi ko na mailabas...galit, sama ng loob, inis..hanggang ganoon nalang ba iyon? I feel lazy. sober. heavy. Pakiramdam ko parang wala na akong pag asa sa lahat nang gagawin ko. Everything I start, I don't end. Palaging ganoon.I feel like no one cares. No friends. Even though they're there, wala pa rin sila. I feel invisible. I feel like I'm a spirit roaming around my life, cared by no one. Then I feel like I do not care. I don't care what they say or do. Lahat nang tao nilalapitan ka lang kapag may kailangan sa iyo. Pagkatapos iiwanan ka nila ere. Mag isa. Mag isa kang babagsak. Everything that you do seems wrong. All decisions that you make tends to fail. All you think is "when will this end?".

When will this end?

1 comment:

eMPi said...

can relate this... some are just friends for happy moments... pero pag nasa kalungkutan o gipit ka... walang kaibigan na makikiramay o masasandalan mo... all u have to do is to stand up by urself. pag ganon ang pakiramdam, ang ginagawa ko lang ay umalis ng bahay aliwin ang sarili... kaya nga sabi ko, its not a big issue if mag-isa lang ako... kesa naman maraming kaibigan pero wala naman sa tabi mo if u needed them...

easy lang... ganon talaga ang buhay!!!